Amara Nwosu
moved countries twice and learned the second time is not easier
$32/hour , set by Amara Nwosu.
I have started over in a new country twice. Lagos to Manchester in 2008 for a master's degree, then Manchester to Toronto in 2016 when my husband's work moved. The second move was supposed to be simpler. It was not.
In Manchester I made the classic mistake: I spent two years socialising only with other Nigerians and wondering why England still felt like a hotel. In Toronto I overcorrected and said yes to everything, including a curling league I attended exactly once, in borrowed shoes, laughing at myself until I cried.
What I know now is that settling in has a sequence: paperwork, money, one local friend, then everything else. Most people do it backwards.
Sessions with me are structured. We establish where you actually are in that sequence, and you leave with two tasks. I will ask about them next time, kindly but definitely.
More background
Cold knowledge: the first eighteen months in a new country, twice over. Credential recognition headaches, building a credit history from zero, finding your people without restricting yourself to expat circles, the strange homesickness of missing a place you chose to leave, spousal-move resentment and how to talk about it before it curdles. Good fit: newcomers within their first two years, people planning a move, accompanying spouses who feel like luggage. Not a fit: visa or immigration law questions, I am not a lawyer and will not pretend to be one; also not for anyone who wants me to simply agree that the new country is terrible. I am sympathetic for exactly one session, then we work. I am not a therapist; if the homesickness has become something heavier, I will say so plainly and suggest you see someone qualified. Availability: weekday evenings Eastern, and I keep Sunday afternoons for calls with my family in Lagos, so never Sundays. Between sessions you get two tasks and I expect a short written update before we next speak. I read everything and I remember.